...many years from where I still am. I am still stuck sometimes in the late 70's/early 80's with the music, the lack of today's technology, the style, the luxury of living under a parental roof with all of my needs being met and my only thought the change for my next pack of cigarettes and a dimebag. I still recall the care of my perfect feathered hair--the hot roller forming perfect tubules framing my face....the purple eyeliner and mascara...the use of an letter opener to zip up my Sergio Valentes...my "druggie" construction boots with the lambswool peeking out (Philly style, in the house).
What happened to that? I can answer that in one fell swoop--when my cell phone died last year, I celebrated. I celebrated a freedom of not being connected. I could go to the damn store and buy a freaking gallon of milk in peace. Nobody asking me where the hell I was. I went randomly, without makeup. Stinking of running shorts and BenGay.. I used to REEK of innocence....of trusting without doubt....that the worst thing that could happen was the "Ruskies" pushing the button. I WAS OUT THERE, and no one could call me. There was danger in that. I couldn't get caught. Thankfully a school nurse wasn't looking for me then to tell me my child had a fever and was in need of being picked up from school.... BUZZKILL, could you imagine picking up a sick kid in my independence moment? These two parts of me in tandem....
In the basement with "Boston", "Saturday Night Fever" or "Dark Side Of The Moon" on the Hi-Fi, and that was (and continues to be, my friends, the BEST music EVER) the SHIT. Thinking of five minutes in the closet, thinking at that time EVERYBODY smoked, and that college wasn't essential to having a life. Looking forward to the roller rink and some AC/DC...I saw every drug run down the pike. Here I am this"mom"....I know I got so very lucky. Lucky I say now. FUN I said then. How youth is so trivial and flippant. But here I am, missing those days of "innocence" and dismissive thinking. Days spent by the creek smoking pot....tripping on acid to the laser light show of Led Zeppelin. I passed out in the lobby high on marijuana and PCP. WHO DOES PCP anymore? Is that even available? How lucky I am to be here....
I wonder if anyone my age misses those days as much as I do....and I do...because I have enough of me to miss that and enjoy the moment I live in now. I suppose I just bring these memories up because they are so much of who I am NOW. Those soundtracks of my life--Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Rush....they bring me back to the girl who got into those size 2s....the clogs...the darkness of the hallways in junior high school, the Bonne Belle root beer lip gloss flavored life of benevolence at the cost of ignorance. The ever present desire to get somewhere else no matter the cost--as long as it wasn't where you were...without looking stupid...being altruistic and playing the game....
This is where I am. Tonight.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Priorities, Priorities
I set out to run this past Saturday morning without any plan of action. I decided to let my legs decide, so I only ended up doing 7.15........a slow 7.15. My legs were incredibly heavy and when I returned home, I lamented to my husband. I received no sympathy. He told me the S3 class has probably fatigued my leg muscles so much, that I just don't have the energy to do those long distances I covet so much. He said I never give my legs a chance to rest. The next morning I went on a scheduled 20 mile bike, and damn it all to hell, it happened again. I know he's right. I have to make a decision about S3, and it isn't as hard as I thought. Running is my priority--pure and simple. S3 is only a short-term program to jettison one into shape. Well, I am in shape. I have to complete the month of April since I already paid for the class, but after this--it's me and the road, baby.
We fell onto some good fortune this weekend, and so I have no fear about these birthdays coming up--three of my daughters within 3 weeks of each other! It's almost as bad as Xmas. There won't be any parties, but kids can have kids sleep over if they want. And of course there will be cake, lol! My son is deep in the throes of the terrible twos and what a stubborn one he is! He is literally running the house at this point, and I suspect a visit from Supernanny any day now.
We fell onto some good fortune this weekend, and so I have no fear about these birthdays coming up--three of my daughters within 3 weeks of each other! It's almost as bad as Xmas. There won't be any parties, but kids can have kids sleep over if they want. And of course there will be cake, lol! My son is deep in the throes of the terrible twos and what a stubborn one he is! He is literally running the house at this point, and I suspect a visit from Supernanny any day now.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Pulled Calf Muscle and Sexual Chocolate
I pulled my right calf muscle somehow in S3 class the other day. I went for a 5 mile run yesterday that turned into a 4.3 because I just couldn't hack the pain and weight of that taut muscle ripping up the back of my leg. You can literally see how pulled tight it is with your bare eyes. So I had S3 again today. I used sports cream and ibuprofen, and I managed to get through. I don't think it is injurious, I just think it is almost in a "tetany" for lack of a better term. I feel better after the class than I did before...although the suicide sprints were difficult because of the constant turnarounds, and the straight up gasser sprints weren't difficult and I was running 6's. I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get in a 24 mile bike and a long run this weekend. I don't see myself doing the first series of triathlons...probably have to wait for the next round in the Summer.
Every day I wake up thinking, "I am going to eat better for my body and not for what I want at the minute." Every day I fail. Now I know there is no way I could possibly add any more exercise into my daily routines, so it is all nutritional. You get what you put into your mouth. I want 1% body fat GONE, I want leaner muscle mass in my quads--and I am for certain food is the culprit because I have been allowing myself nutritional license when I prepare my meals. Never mind eating what the kiddos eat, but the chocolate chip yellow cake I made yesterday was my latest victim.
What's got me thinking lately is why in the world anyone would want to vote for John McCain? He plans on maintaining Bush's economic protocol, and it is just more of the same old shit, different day. While my family and the families around me struggle more and more with each passing month, and the gas prices continue to rise, and the investments continue to plummet...house values deteriorating. This is not to take away from the personal responsibility of the consumer. ABSOLUTELY! I get that. Irresponsible homebuyers taking risks with variable mortgages, and the lenders that encourage them...America's oil companies making record profits this year while we stand incredulous at the gas pump. Meanwhile, children continue to be the highest population in poverty and over 26 million Americans are on food stamps...and we continue to dump billions of dollars into an impossible war because two men can't concede that perhaps they made a mistake. I love my country, but it needs a little housekeeping.
Every day I wake up thinking, "I am going to eat better for my body and not for what I want at the minute." Every day I fail. Now I know there is no way I could possibly add any more exercise into my daily routines, so it is all nutritional. You get what you put into your mouth. I want 1% body fat GONE, I want leaner muscle mass in my quads--and I am for certain food is the culprit because I have been allowing myself nutritional license when I prepare my meals. Never mind eating what the kiddos eat, but the chocolate chip yellow cake I made yesterday was my latest victim.
What's got me thinking lately is why in the world anyone would want to vote for John McCain? He plans on maintaining Bush's economic protocol, and it is just more of the same old shit, different day. While my family and the families around me struggle more and more with each passing month, and the gas prices continue to rise, and the investments continue to plummet...house values deteriorating. This is not to take away from the personal responsibility of the consumer. ABSOLUTELY! I get that. Irresponsible homebuyers taking risks with variable mortgages, and the lenders that encourage them...America's oil companies making record profits this year while we stand incredulous at the gas pump. Meanwhile, children continue to be the highest population in poverty and over 26 million Americans are on food stamps...and we continue to dump billions of dollars into an impossible war because two men can't concede that perhaps they made a mistake. I love my country, but it needs a little housekeeping.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Children and Other Bad Habits
The kids are on Spring Break and my 14-year-old wanted to go to the gym with me today. She ran for a total of ten minutes, slowly cycled for fewer than that--and then she asked me what time we were leaving. Needless to say, I didn't get a very good workout in. I do have my S3 class tomorrow, so maybe today's lighter work-out is a blessing in disguise.
OH! I did get my body fat measured and I was pleasantly surprised. Lower than the average, and lower than what I thought. So I will get remeasured after the triathlon season and we shall see how things sit from there. The only possible way to lower my body fat at this point is to modify my diet significantly. I thought the point of running was that you could eat whatever you want!!
Schoolwork calls me...check back later....
OH! I did get my body fat measured and I was pleasantly surprised. Lower than the average, and lower than what I thought. So I will get remeasured after the triathlon season and we shall see how things sit from there. The only possible way to lower my body fat at this point is to modify my diet significantly. I thought the point of running was that you could eat whatever you want!!
Schoolwork calls me...check back later....
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Misty Light Rain and the Fast Unintended Five Miler
So my husband got up this morning and I heard him rummaging around for some running shorts. I asked him how long he was going for, and he answered "We shall see!". I dozed off again knowing full well I needed to get up and get some breakfast because I was going to run after he returned. I snoozed a little and finally dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen for some new Special K protein enhanced cereal. WHAT A BLESSING!!! That cereal is easy on the stomach and very filling, if I eat half a cup with a little banana...I am good to go. I do a couple of swigs of Gatorade, and the man returns. HA! He did an "easy" 10-miler in what seemed to me to be mere minutes. HATE HIM;). So I am outside putting my shoes on, and it is threatening to rain. He asks me what I am going to do, and I tell him I am doing my usual 5 and half mile loop...that way if it full-out rains cats and dogs he can come and pick me up because he knows where to find me.
I started off WAY fast. I felt a grudge against my crappy run the other day. My legs were strong, I was focused and there was a light misty rain in the air. And suddenly, as if by magic, I actually noticed the temperature was dropping. I am FLYING at this point. I catch and pass this 20-something young guy, and I am feeling really good. I get to the cross street remembering the wind had been at my back up until this point--so I prepare, because I know the turnaround in the loop is going to be brutal. AND it was. I always feel like I have the quick Parkinsonian shuffle steps when I run against strong wind. I lean into it, which I shouldn't. I struggle against it and I gave myself permission to slow to a 10 minute mile. Who cares, anyway? Right? Aren't I out here just for the running love? I get to this great decline on the route before the next turnaround and I put my mojo in gear. I sprinted the last mile and a quarter home, lungs aching and breathing blood. I am getting PISSED at my silly gait. I think it holds me back from being a speedier runner. I remember my parents were so on the fence about putting me in leg braces when I was a kid, and the orthopedist said it was their call. They decided against because they didn't want any unnecessary attention brought upon me at school. I don't know if those braces would have made any difference. I know I beat my 5 mile PR today, just felt it.
If you are wondering about what happens when I run--just picture Elaine Bennis from that classic episode of "Seinfeld" when she is at the office Xmas party and starts off the dancing! Remember how her left leg kicks out perpendicular to her body? That is me with my right leg when I run (see above pic), and even when I walk, no less. It is in tune with my overpronation. It is whimsical, yes...putting me directly on the shortbus bound for therapy. So I am forever doomed to the "fatboy" "overpronator" Gel Kayanos. Even though I am not fat. I am just weird.
Sweet dreams and pray for me.....my kids are on Spring Break.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I am now a BRUNETTE
YES! I took the plunge and dyed my hair a deep chocolate brown. It is a love it or hate it kinda thing. Don't think the hubby is too crazy about it, but I got compliments at the gym today. Now I am going to grow it out long again and see what happens.
Little boys are the funniest creatures; and as my son ages, I can only wonder at the fiascos this little man is going to find himself in. I took my soon-to-be 8 year old daughter to her soccer game this morning. She played offense for awhile, and then the coach placed her as goalie. Well, unfortunately Samantha was too busy trying to get my attention and she allowed the other team to score their only goal of the game. One of her teammates, a fiesty little fellow named Alex, asked Samantha how many seasons she has been playing. She told him "five", and the then she asked him how many he had played. He retorted without hesitation, "Your buttcrack season." Ah, how boys will be boys. I am sure his mother is very proud.
So I had a crappy 3.5 mile run yesterday. The pollen is so thick in the air, I had spiderwebs in my lungs. I actually had to stop several times. The good news is, we are expecting rain tonight and in the morning. That ought to help clear the air a bit, and make for nicer running...especially since we are now in the 80's temperature-wise.
My husband and I are looking to save pennies since the economy is so tanked out, and our investments aren't returning like they used to. So I actually had to bite the bullet and pick out recipes for the next month to plan a menu. This way, I go to the store with a detailed list of ingredients I need, and I don't buy anything that deviates from the list. We saved about 40% of what we usually do at the grocery store. Hopefully all the kids enjoy this more regimented system, as they will be eating less frozen "convenience" meals, and more homemade meals.
I am researching triathlon suits. I need to start swimming. It looks as if I am going to have to order one online, and I just hate that idea. I am more worried about the "girls" and the chafing after the skin. I bet I get seconds added to my transitions by abusing the Body Glide!
Ciao for now:).
Little boys are the funniest creatures; and as my son ages, I can only wonder at the fiascos this little man is going to find himself in. I took my soon-to-be 8 year old daughter to her soccer game this morning. She played offense for awhile, and then the coach placed her as goalie. Well, unfortunately Samantha was too busy trying to get my attention and she allowed the other team to score their only goal of the game. One of her teammates, a fiesty little fellow named Alex, asked Samantha how many seasons she has been playing. She told him "five", and the then she asked him how many he had played. He retorted without hesitation, "Your buttcrack season." Ah, how boys will be boys. I am sure his mother is very proud.
So I had a crappy 3.5 mile run yesterday. The pollen is so thick in the air, I had spiderwebs in my lungs. I actually had to stop several times. The good news is, we are expecting rain tonight and in the morning. That ought to help clear the air a bit, and make for nicer running...especially since we are now in the 80's temperature-wise.
My husband and I are looking to save pennies since the economy is so tanked out, and our investments aren't returning like they used to. So I actually had to bite the bullet and pick out recipes for the next month to plan a menu. This way, I go to the store with a detailed list of ingredients I need, and I don't buy anything that deviates from the list. We saved about 40% of what we usually do at the grocery store. Hopefully all the kids enjoy this more regimented system, as they will be eating less frozen "convenience" meals, and more homemade meals.
I am researching triathlon suits. I need to start swimming. It looks as if I am going to have to order one online, and I just hate that idea. I am more worried about the "girls" and the chafing after the skin. I bet I get seconds added to my transitions by abusing the Body Glide!
Ciao for now:).
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Life IS Good
It really is. I had a fantastic 8-mile run yesterday and I didn't hack up a lung. The weather was absolutely perfect, and I thought as much as I am homesick for South Florida, North Florida is really gorgeous this time of year. It will be 78 degrees today, flowers are in full bloom and we shall be able to use the pool in less than a month.
I had that S3 training outside today and BOY is that a phenomenal workout. I HIGHLY recommend explosive training to sprinters and sprint triathletes. I think it is REALLY going to help me in the long run. I am really isolating muscles I never knew I had.
OH! Let me pose this. There is a personal trainer at my gym. He is a cyclist mainly, but has had triathlon and trail/road race experience. Sweetest guy you ever want to meet, not even a bit full of himself and VERY modest usually. Well, weeks ago he told me he signed up for a 30-miler trail race...BUT HE HAS NEVER RUN A MARATHON...EVER. His longest distance is the half. I asked him if he was sure he knew what he was doing, and he said, "Yeah I am in excellent shape and my running has really improved." I said absolutely nothing after that. The only thing I could do was wish him luck last week.
I saw him today. He DNF'd. He said he dropped out at mile 23. I told him that sucked and I suggested maybe training for a roadrace marathon in the autumn. I like the Jacksonville Bank full marathon because it is a fast, flat and shady course. It also is a very small race, and the runners get really spread out--so no pressure to do anything to alter your pace plan. Well, he said, "No Way" "Too boring" "Too flat". He said his issue with the DNF was because all the runners started off fast, and he just got caught up. WELL DUH!!! Don't you think the reasons for not doing the Jax full (or any other road full for that matter), are the very reason why you should? I mean, WTF? I train for months before my marathons, with a specific plan that I abide by. The result? I FINISH MY MARATHONS! I couldn't ever imagine trying to conquer any marathon--road or trail--without logging that mileage, EVER.
Is it just me or....."DUH"?
I had that S3 training outside today and BOY is that a phenomenal workout. I HIGHLY recommend explosive training to sprinters and sprint triathletes. I think it is REALLY going to help me in the long run. I am really isolating muscles I never knew I had.
OH! Let me pose this. There is a personal trainer at my gym. He is a cyclist mainly, but has had triathlon and trail/road race experience. Sweetest guy you ever want to meet, not even a bit full of himself and VERY modest usually. Well, weeks ago he told me he signed up for a 30-miler trail race...BUT HE HAS NEVER RUN A MARATHON...EVER. His longest distance is the half. I asked him if he was sure he knew what he was doing, and he said, "Yeah I am in excellent shape and my running has really improved." I said absolutely nothing after that. The only thing I could do was wish him luck last week.
I saw him today. He DNF'd. He said he dropped out at mile 23. I told him that sucked and I suggested maybe training for a roadrace marathon in the autumn. I like the Jacksonville Bank full marathon because it is a fast, flat and shady course. It also is a very small race, and the runners get really spread out--so no pressure to do anything to alter your pace plan. Well, he said, "No Way" "Too boring" "Too flat". He said his issue with the DNF was because all the runners started off fast, and he just got caught up. WELL DUH!!! Don't you think the reasons for not doing the Jax full (or any other road full for that matter), are the very reason why you should? I mean, WTF? I train for months before my marathons, with a specific plan that I abide by. The result? I FINISH MY MARATHONS! I couldn't ever imagine trying to conquer any marathon--road or trail--without logging that mileage, EVER.
Is it just me or....."DUH"?
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