Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Intervals, No News and Ghosts

So this morning, bright and early at 5:15 AM, nine 200x200 with 200 recovery jog. Probably attained a high 6ish/low 7 for the fast 200s. I still don't feel quite up to par, considering I am training with true winners in the group runs. At least I wasn't the slowest today. I think there was one person behind me, lol! Bob kicked major ass and motored through the workout, passing me up three or four times. He felt good, he looked good, and he is totally prepping for the Tour De Pain this weekend. Why am I doing this again? Three races in 24 hours--a 4-mile on the beach Friday evening, a 5k in Mandarin Saturday morning, and a one-mile sizzler downtown at four in the afternoon. OBVIOUSLY, no one cares that a whole bunch of whacked-out running fools are frying like eggs on a sidewalk in JACKSONVILLE in AUGUST. See why I hate this series? And the worst part for me is the beach race--sand running always strains my knees.

I have to retract the news. I was misinformed and it will have to sit for quite awhile longer. Let us just say it is all part of seeking out Bob's biological family. Hurry up and wait.

RANDOM--remembering a yard sale we had a couple years ago. I sold a lot of Danny's things, and I felt so guilty about it. Bob's friend, Gene, tried to console me about selling his things, "He doesn't need them anymore." That phrase repeats in my head so often lately, as I have been dreaming of Danny lately. I hope he knows his girls are loved and happy. I want to believe that. We took the money from the yard sale and gave it to the girls so they could fix their rooms the way they wanted to, Danny would have loved that. After all, he has no use for worldly objects anymore, right? Over four years gone, and I still can't watch him on video. I can't do it. I treasure how he sits in animation in my memory.

I don't want to cry. And I have to plan S3 class tomorrow.