Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Pittsburgh--A New Chapter

For many reasons, this marathon has become my absolute favorite race ever. My husband finally got to meet the woman who gave him up for adoption almost 43 years ago. He was able to revisit his childhood home; and in essence, reclaim some happiness long lost to him. Despite the the tumultuous relationship he shared with his adoptive mother, I believe Bob has found a "homecoming" with his biological mother. I completely swam in his happiness--because I can't think of anything else that makes me happier!

The city of Pittsburgh was one of the most friendliest places I have ever visited. I spoke with so many fellow runners, that any goal of time was completely lost to me at mile 8. I picked up a running buddy for a good hour, and I was sorry to see him go at mile 19. I believe his knee injury took him out of the race. I enjoyed chatting with "Pat", and he was a good distraction for me.

I could never have prepared for the elevations this course presented, so with that being said--it was brutal. The food and energy level of this city was incomparable. I don't know what lies ahead. I am still in the stars.

I love my husband dearly. We received a beautiful gift this weekend. I am eternally grateful.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Good morning, Blog

It's Tuesday and I got up at 4 AM to go hit the track with the running group. I despise track when I am there--especially this morning. It was 50 degrees and there was a good wind I was up against. I screwed up the work-out. I ended up doing a bunch of 4X400s when I was was supposed to do 4X200s. I realized this talking to Bob just now. Oh well. I love track when it's over, lol. I do feel a sense of accomplishment.

So the Pittsburgh story. Bob and I never figured that the marathon would close. We just assumed we would go to the expo, register, and rest on our laurels. Well, a couple of weeks ago, we found that there was a cap on the race. Much to our dismay, we were also informed the waiting list had closed! Bob already purchased airline tickets on Orbitz--so no refund for us! Plus, this is a historic trip for Bob because he is going to meet his biological mother for the first time. She placed him up for adoption almost 43 years ago, when he was a newborn. So after six years of sporadic searching and investigating, I was finally able to locate her. The rapport she and Bob have built is refreshing, and we are looking forward to making this trip. Well, she seems very impressed with Bob's running. She always asks him questions about his training, races, etc. She was thrilled that we are doing this race, sending us links various media coverages. Turns out, she has a connection with a local charity. Within two days of breaking the unhappy news that we weren't going to race, Bob's biological mother announced she had gotten us in through the charity!! And it isn't going to break the bank!!! Plus, of course, now the race is a write-off, so SCORE US!

This sudden change in plans has left me without a plan! The race is in four weeks, and I am not prepared. So I have decided to pile on the miles now...did six Sunday and biked, did three yesterday, did 5.5 today at track and tomorrow I will do 13-14. We are going home this weekend, and we picked up a 5K in Sunrise--Easter Sunday. I will do a 17 next Wednesday, and the next weekend I will carve out a 19-20. That will be my last long run before the marathon on May 3. I think I am more leery of the elevations of the race more than anything. I haven't been in the Northeast since 2001...ought to be interesting.

Monday, March 30, 2009

This shall pass and other observations.

I have a huge story concerning the upcoming Pittsburgh marathon. It is so convoluted right now, that I can't actually say whether I will be running it or not. I have the tickets paid for, and the hotel reservations...but that will have to wait.

I have been in a running rut recently, after doing well at the Gate. I had a 9 minute solid mile 7.3 today, so I felt some redemption. I was still struggling with the ankle issues. That is easily remedied by a new pair of running shoes.

A note to the lady in Pennsylvania who is obssessed with belittling me at every opportunity. Joye, you are a fifty-something-year-old single woman. On your own account, you are a loser magnet when it comes to making good life choices. You persist on mentioning me at every post, and it is pathetic. You don't know me, and you don't know what actually occurred in the past--and yet you have this schoolgirl bully need to "stick it to me". Do you know how pathetic that is? You weren't there, you don't know much. If you were a mature and adjusted person--you would let this go and desist in following me around obsessively. It is disturbing. Very disturbing.

I could be catty and be reciprocative, but I respect senior citizens. Please exercise good judgement.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Gate River Run USA 15K Championship and a Disturbing Accident Witnessed

After having a couple of weeks of good running, and successfully completing a 10 mile run last weekend at a 9:17 min/mile--I decide to take on this fast 15k in an atttempt to do well. I wanted to do the race in a 9:20 min/mile, and I needed a finish time pf 1:25:12. That was what I predicted, and I had Garmin in hand to undertake this endeavor.
My dear husband offered to run with me, and to tell you the truth, I was hesitant to accept. I knew I would be slowing him down, but then again I realized he may be the "pull" I needed to achieve my goal. I ended up accepting his offer, and I left the Garmin in the truck.
We got to the venue and marvelled at how many people were there. My third year racing this course, and it grows more every year...over 12000 finishers. The weather was cool, and there was complete cloud cover. We met with our running buddies, took photographs, and took our place in the 9:00 mile corral. Guess what? There was a section for walkers. Think the walkers occupied that section? Hell no! We still had to dodge walkers the first mile and a half. Now ask me about the first two miles--ha ha, WAY TOO FAST. We ran low eights, slowing down a bit for mile 3 and got to the 5k mark just sub-26 (27:07) (our chip versus gun time). I got on his case after beaming heavy hateful wife eye rays into the middle of his back. I got a rock in my shoe, and I had to stop briefly and empty out my shoe. I was doing "o.k." until mile 6. I just started feeling the gag reflex and nausea coming on. I really didn't eat well before the race, but I don't know if that had anything to do with it.
Then we saw something terrible. A young girl, at the water station, had somehow drifted past the safety cones--and right into oncoming traffic. Bob was ten feet away, she was five, and the impact of Bob turning around in horror to see what was happening...I hear myself shouting, "Jesus Christ!"...the girl collided with the car. She was struck in the shoulder and hip, and the impact penetrated my iPod...and the look of terror on her face...and the shards of car pieces striking my shins...

Someone came quickly and helped guide her to safety. I hope dearly she is ok tonight. Wherever you are, young lady, I know that hurt. I also know it had the propensity to be so much worse. The car behind the car in question may have collided, as people stalled and I heard a "crunch."
Bob is talking me up the GREEN MONSTER--the Hart bridge--slowest mile of the race to release into speed toward the finish. We barely passed the hot dog and mustard costume-wearing couple. A man falls in a "tuck and roll" right in front of Bob--he helps him up. We arrive at the finish: 1:25:44.

I am getting better. I am looking forward to the next few years. I want to do better.

OH! And the race result had me at 42 years old. WTF?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Douchebaggery and Other Tricks

I went ahead and removed my Donna marathon post because some folks with too much time on their hands have regressed to junior high school and think it's "rad" to use my photos for evil intent. Such a waste of perfectly good oxygen I have to share with them....anywho SO! That being said, I will no longer post pics on this blog--but those of you who know me well can follow up on my Facebook for my race photos. Love you guys:)--keep reading.

I have taken a couple of days off running, and I will do an easy 3-5 tomorrow. Saturday is the big day, and I am still determining if I should run with or without the Garmin. All of the group, it appears, is doing this race. I am getting excited!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Reflection/Gate River Run

It was a year ago I started this blog. I had documented my fun time at the Gate River Run National 15K Championship. I have always run this race with friends, and we made it kind of a party in Asics, lol. We would stop and take photos, indulge on whatever the onlookers had to offer, and just chat it up with the folks around us. I miss my girls. They have moved away.

This will be the first time running this race alone. This was the only race I tolerated running with friends, so this will be new territory for me. The Gate is my absolute favorite local race, without a doubt. It coils you through the nicer Jacksonville neighborhoods from the start downtown. You have a beautiful view of the St. John's river for part of it, and it provides the challenge of climbing Jacksonville's bridges. The last hurdle, the Hart bridge, is lovingly called "The Green Monster". When you descend off the bridge, you are literally catapulted to the finish in Jax Stadium--where the Jaguars play. See why it is my favorite race? Who doesn't want to see themselves finishing on the HUGE big screen?

I have suffered from tendonitis for the last few days, but today was beautiful and I felt good. I went for an "easy" seven-miler. When I got going, and it took awhile, I decided to step it up and see how I could do casually while working it a little harder. I didn't want to eject lungs, or anything like that--I just wanted to see where I was pace-wise in a race capacity at a distance smaller than a marathon.

My Garmin said 9:12 min. mile--one second faster than my five mile PR. I also knew I could push it harder. I know the race route very well, and I know one big part of it is getting proper placement at the start. So, taking the bridges into consideration, I should be able to do well at the Gate. I can do this for two more miles. That is all I have to do.

I am getting excited. This is the first race I will actually "race" since.....well, hell....who the hell knows when?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

March Is In Like A Lion

I first want to mention that my Clydesdale husband completed a 35-mile ultra marathon entirely on the beach--from the Atlantic Beach jetty to the St. Augustine Beach jetty. It was 80 degrees. There was also a strong headwind and some soft sand he had to balance against the tidepools. He finished under 7 hours, and I am so in awe and wonder. Go Bob!
So I embarked on an eight-and-a-half miler with a 25 MPH headwind the first five-and-a-half. I was blown all over the place, and the gusts were so insistent, I had to wear a bandanna on my face like a convenience store thief. I worked very hard to get to the turn-around so that I could have the wind at my back. I got a good kick going on the way home, and I felt strong. I have another 8 tomorrow with a much faster runner, so maybe she will intimidate me to get a little more out of my comfort zone. I have this personal goal to acquire 1000 miles this year--and I have been a slacker as of late.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tempo Runs KICK ASS

So I joined Facebook FINALLY, and oh what an anthill I disturbed! I don't know whether to be overjoyed or dubious. I was able to make some apologies for past indiscretions, and I was able to reconnect with people I love. I can see how it can become an addiction, but I am so busy and distracted, I think I will be o.k.
I embarked on a 3.5 mile tempo (accelerated) run today. I modified it. I made it even faster. I did the 3.5 at an 8:15 pace--I felt fantastic, and I was still able to sing along to "Smack My Bitch Up"--Prodigy. I think this is the fastest I have run in awhile, and it plants the seeds of speedtraining inside my psyche. Who wants to be fast versus who wants the longest distance without blowing a brain artery? I really need to incorporate the speed training back into my schedule, and my crosstraining has fallen by the wayside.
I have my last mary in May. If I do the triathlon Bob wants me to do, I am introducing all the other shit I have given up BACK into my schedule. Where the hell am I going to find all of this? I have to add a 20-mile cycle into the weekend with a long run on Sunday.
Whatever. I always figure out a way. I miss explosive training.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Donna and Things

I had a 15-hour sleep-a-thon last night! Thank goodness I have an understanding husband. We went to the Donna Expo today; and much to our dismay, we discovered we were assigned to the last corral AGAIN. WTF??? The woman who wants to run with me got assigned a faster corral and she put a slower finish time. Go figure. No worries. I am going to hide my bib.

I feel good, weather looks iffy. There is a 35% chance of rain. NICE temperate everything else...not too hot, not too cold. I am thinking this may be doable.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Decision Time

After a good race yesterday--finished seventh out of 47, I awoke and did a quick 3.66 at just a sub-nine/8:45 minute mile. FELT fantastic. But the nature of this beast is if I am going to crash before the weekend. I have had a change of plans--a faster runner wants to run the full with me. I only hope I don't hold her back. Decision made. I am running 26.2 with Donna and friend on Sunday. Pray for me. I want to finish healthy. She is so much faster. I am intimidated.

I never know when the mono sleep is going to hit. I slept 13 hours Saturday night.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Winter Beaches Run Today

I did what I said I wouldn't do this year--another beach run. Bob was going for the ten, and he wanted me to go with him. I was going to catch some rays, and I just awoke from a 12-hour post mono slumberfest. I haven't run or worked out in three days. I can't wait to SHAKE THIS DAMN BUG.

Bob said I may as well run it, and I was not too keen about it. I injured my tendon last year doing the ten-mile. For some reason, sand and I don't a nice runner make. Bob enjoys the beach, says it "cushions" his stride. It is the opposite for me, usually I have a hard time navigating the eddies and inconsistencies.

I decided to do the five mile, and I did a mile warm-up to "feel out" how I was going to run. Was I going to race? Or was I just going to run? I just decided to do whatever my legs told me to do. I hit mile one at 8:38, and I panicked a little--but then I just told myself I wasn't going to look at any more mile markers, and I didn't. I kept my eyes downcast, and just enjoyed the beautiful weather. The sand was smooth, and I sailed through the race with minimum effort--finishing in 46:00...tying my five-mile PR.

Bob is adamant I don't go for the full marathon next weekend. I may have to concede and do the half. I guess I am putting all my marbles in the Pittsburgh Marathon. I got to be better by then, right? RIGHT???

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ocala: Cold, Hilly Horse Country Half Marathon

After returning to running after a illness-imposed hiatus (I have run maybe a total of 15 miles since the Goofy challenge in small increments), I finally had my "break-through" run yesterday after a speedy seven miles. As I burst into the house, I head for the bedroom to talk to Bob while he was getting his running crap together for the Ocala marathon. Feeling exalted, I sang, "I could have done a half-marathon today with NOOOO problem." Famous last words, and Bob called me out on it. "Ya know, Lee Ann," he snickered. "They have a half tomorrow." All I could think about was the "rolling hills" described on the race's homepage.

I got called out by Bob, so I rolled my happy ass out of bed at 3:30 this morning to join Bob in his quest for marathon sexytime. He has had a vomiting issue his last couple of marathons, and it has killed his time consistently. More importantly, I am usually his target of choice for post-race chunk hurl. First thing I notice when we get into the truck is that it is FREAKING COLD. I am in racing shorts. My freshly shaved legs were virtual cactus appendages by the time we got to Starke.

When we arrive in Ocala, we notice frost on parked car windows. Did I say it was cold? Because it was cold. I did same dayregistration, and I couldn't get over how small the venue was. In fact, Bob parked the truck RIGHT AT THE FINISH SHOOT. I sat and talked to Jen in the truck after my half watching runners come in. I felt very VIP.

About those rolling hills. I think it is utterly unfair and against the grain of creation's greater purpose to make a hill without a downside. I want to get that out of the way before I continue. That, along with fine crystalline mist freezing in my nosehairs, were my biggest "dag-nabbit, wtf am I doing this for" fodder for me to fixate upon. I suppose I am lucky. Ocala is horse country and that is EXACTLY what you are running through. I suppose I should be thankful for my frozen nares--I never once smelled horse dookie until the end of the race.

***More rolling hills***

I knew I was sucking at mile 9. They serve HEED at the waterstations manned by teenagers who are compelled to mix the aforementioned Heed in dubious concentrations. One station? A faint, pink-tinged watery substance. Another station? You may as well have handed me a cup of Robitussin. YIKES.

Anyway, if you have read this far, I finished in 2:10. I was trying to emit positive karma forces to Bob and the settled-stomach fairies who I believe in, damn it. Yesterday I wrote a time I predicted he was going to finish the race down in a magazine in his truck. He didn't want to know what I wrote, but I was out of the truck at exactly the time I predicted for him at 4:16:58. I spotted him coming to the finish at 4:16:00. I start maniacally waving and screaming for him to "Step it up, baby" and I received perhaps thebiggest stinkeye experienced in the years of our marriage. He finished in 4:17 and change. He said he threw up at mile 21, and a motorcycle cop was circling him like the anticipatory vulture swooping around a flattened possum.

I would do it as a full, but only if I was healthier. Not a bad race, quiet and non-eventful. Plenty of room to run without getting boxed in.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Fuck It All, I Am Gonna Run

Doc says I may have mono, but he didn't test for it. I have had a good two days after sleeping for 30 hours almost straight. I am still tired, but I was able to get to the gym today and do biceps, triceps and core. I had a strong strength-training workout, and I ran a good 4 miles with no issues.

I know what the doctor said, but I believe he was erring on the side of caution--hoping that the Azithromycin will improve my condition. WELL, I believe it has. Now, in fairness, I promptly came home from my run and crashed for a couple of hours...but damn it, I have the jimmy legs. My spleen is not enlarged, and I believe I can overcome this and redeem myself from missing the Miami. I have 8 planned for tomorrow, and a possible long run of 20 next weekend. My focus will be on long, slow, quality miles. Everything else is in a higher power's hands.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Mononucleiosis and Other Fun Activities

I went for another doctor visit, and one more course of antibiotics. If they don't improve my situation, he is convinced I have mono. He said NO STRENUOUS EXERCISE or RUNNING. This may last 10-12 weeks. I am praying really hard now. I couldn't make it through my workout yesterday, and I passed out after my 5K. My poor kids are tired of having a sick mom.

Friday, January 23, 2009

No Miami/Change of Plans

I am too ill to even travel, so no marathon for me on Sunday. The antibiotics don't seem to be doing the best job, and I have been hurling from the nausea.


I will now be doing the Donna in February, so all is not lost. I am in bed, praying to feel better.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sick and mile-less before the Miami ING

I have a raging sinus infection, haven't run but a couple of times since the Goofy. I started antibiotics today, and I am hoping to feel well enough to run tomorrow. I have a little anxiety about confronting this race after being so ill for the past week. I dropped weight, and I am exhausted fighting off this crud. I can do this, right?

Maybe this time off will give me the energy I need for Miami. Oh, I wish I had a crystal ball. Most of the kids are sick, and so is Bob. I can only hope and pray that it will all work out. I was strong for the last two, I hope I can pull it together on Sunday.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Working out the kinks

I ran an easy 9/min mile 5k today--first run since the Goofy. My calves are a little tight, and my left foot, which tends to turn inward, is a little achey from transient tendonitis. Other than that, I enjoyed the run and I am ready to confront the Miami ING. I am prepared to shave some more time off my PR. Maybe I will have a shot of qualifying for Boston when I am 70, lol. I forced myself to do shoulders, back and chest--putting off core since I am still somewhat depleted from the weekend. There is a 5K here on Saturday--I usually do well with this particular race, but I can't even think about getting that speedy a week out of the Goofy. Bob has already said he will consider it. He is also toying with a 36 mile ultra on the beach from St. Augustine to Jacksonville. I may run to the 5K and run home for a total of around eleven miles. I will see how I feel when I wake up, lol.

Bob is convinced I would do well on a 50-mile ultra. The only thing left to do is pick a venue. I know I can do it, as long as it is not a trail run. The other obstacle is having Bob as a support and finding supervision for the kiddos. I could probably as some members of the group I sometimes run with for assistance, but I will cross that bridge whenn I come to it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Goofy's Challenge 2009

The morning of the half, we took a fleece blanket from the hotel room and parked ourselves on the ground. We dozed and made fleeting comments at how cold it was, and we were surprised that our breath created big, misty clouds in the darkness. Disney has this requirement that you be in the holding area TWO HOURS before the marathon (the last transport busses leave the hotels at 4:15ish). We munched on a banana, went to the porta-potty, and made our way to the WORST CORRAL CHOICE EVER. How the hell did Bob and I end up in the back with the walkers? I remembered I put a 4:40 marathon guestimation when I initially signed up for the challenge in January of 2008. I would think they wouldn't put us in the last corral for the half, let alone the full. Regardless of what I thought, here we were in a sea of purple "Team In Training" hell. We knew we were in trouble. We were thinking a 2:15 half would be just the ticket--we quickly accepted that wouldn't be the case. The roadway at the start is bursting with joggers and walkers meandering abreast. It is very difficult and unwise to run around the walkers, stop and go, end up on the grass, only to make your way back into a dreaded "walker cell". Bob is a lot more assertive than I in that situation, and perhaps due to his size, he is able to part the slower joggers and waters like Moses dissected the Red Sea!

I stuck with Bob best I could, using him like a guide dog. Then, as if I wasn't already frustrated with the status of my race, my iPod locks up on me. My brand new iPod, bursting with a fresh infusion of iTunes. Where is my Pearl Jam? Where is my Siousie and the Banshees? Will Pink Floyd leave me in the dark? I am deflated. I excavate myself from the layers of wicking shirts to get to the crux of my iPod issue, buried underneath all the clothing. I punch it, switch the lock over and over, and FINALLY...Bono makes a weak appearance, and I realize I am saved. At this point I realize a large figure lumbering next to me. It's Bob! I pick out my ear bud and hear, "We may as well just run this together, it's insane to think we are going to get out of this crowd". I was ecstatic! Bob NEVER races with me. We tried once, a couple of years ago. I ended up with major guilt, and he had a terrible race.

We continued together, at a pedestrian 11:00 pace. It was comfortable, we enjoyed the sites and the parks. We were able to have a conversation (who needed that silly iPod, anyway?). We held hands for photo ops (cheesy, I know). I have never had a race go by so quickly and so slowly at the same time. We finished in 2:30. We went back to the hotel, showered, and went to Animal Kingdom to ride Expedition Everest. A nice dinner at the Portobello restaraunt in downtown Disney completed the day. I was dreading Sunday. Again, we would be waking up at 3:00 AM.

The next morning wasn't so cold. Bob proposed we run the full marathon together--as long as I didn't mind his run/walk, Galloway approach. Are you kidding? I giggled like a schoolgirl. Any free pass to walk...I will take it! Again, we took our place in the holding area...slightly upbeat after having learned we weren't in the back corral this time. We chatted and took pictures. The first mile or two I struggled to keep up with Bob's "walk". His walking is equivalent to a 12:45 mile for me, lol. I stayed behind him and giggled that for every step he took, I took two! He was running five minutes and walking one minute. I was running five minutes and skip, jog and galloping one minute. The roadways around the parks--for lack of a better word--SUCK when it comes to foot stability. All of the off ramps and on ramps are slanted, so one foot is always higher than the other. My feet shift painfully by mile 10.

I felt sluggish until the half-marathon mark, and then I felt revived. I also felt as if I wanted this race to be over. By mile 18, however, Bob wasn't looking very good. We had spoken very little up until this point, and I was mildly surprised that he wanted to stop for awhile. He grabbed a second banana at a water station, and I was concerned that wasn't going to be a good choice for later in the race. He complained of headache and nausea, and I became concerned because the longer we were out there, the hotter the temperatures were becoming. He insisted that I go on without him. I didn't want to leave. He said before the race that if one of us lagged, the other must go. I thought I would be the lagger. I struggled as we shuffled along, and finally Bob said, "Lee Ann, just go please". I took off. I came up to a couple wearing matching tee-shirts. The woman's shirt read, "Never leave a good man behind." Her husband's read, "A good man". I deflated.

I attacked the last seven miles, accidentally having the first negative split race EVER (for what that's worth, lol). I passed stations of chocolate, stations of pretzels and oranges, stations of any flavor Gu you could possibly want...I just want to be at the finish. I wanted to see Bob. Thanks to Jen for talking with me at the finish, and intermittently during the race. I may have sounded fine, but I was worried for Bob. He finished a good 20-25 minutes after I did. He promptly threw up at the finish. We gathered our Mickey and Goofy medals, and had a photo taken. I am sure we will appreciate Bob's ashen complexion when we view the proofs. I was able to obtain a couple of Cokes, and we made our way to the bus. Bob was very ill and softspoken. When the bus pulled up to the hotel, he proceeded to vomit in my lap. A man looked very concerned and asked, "Is he going to be ok?". I calmly replied, "Hell yes, you should see what he does after a triathlon!". That is our magical journey in a nutshell. We have three bitchin' medals. Several hours, napping, some more vomiting, appetizers at the "Brown Derby" at Hollywood Studios, we were good to go. Rock and Rollercoaster, World of Nations and a couple of beers--done:).

Monday, January 5, 2009


I have been working so hard with my job. I am at it any chance I get. Sometimes I pull all-nighters. My sleep schedule is screwy, my father is ill, and I have the Disney Goofy Challenge next weekend. I am a size four. I haven't been there (weight-wise) since high school. I am EXACTLY the same weight I was when I graduated high school. I am running well. I am lucrative with my business. I have a wide open chasm to throw pennies in for the Summer.

Spring brings an auspicious occassion. I located my husband's biological mother. She lives in Pittsburgh. They are bonding. After six years of searching, I succeeded. She wants to meet her beautiful and intelligent son. It will be her birthday, Mother's Day, and a chance for my husband to show me around the city he spent his childhood in. Why not a marathon? What a great chance to reunite.

I will be completing FOUR marathons in less than half a year. My business is thriving. My kids are AMAZING.

I saw the movie about the ultra marathoners meandering themselves across the Sahara. Like a hundred and something days, almost 1500 miles (I think). My interest is piqued.

.....passing thought.....

Pittsburgh......hill training intervals on biggie, girl......

I am good. It is ALL good.