Again with the run in the morning turning out to be a speed race. I did 4.5 in a little less than 35 minutes. This is way too fast, and I was in a panic at the end. I understand it is all psychological, but the weather is getting warmer, and I can't afford to give up the tranquility of a long run pace for a quick couple of miles.
I posed the issue to Alison, and she said something so damn levelheaded and succinct. "Lee Ann, you aren't yet in training for your next marathon. Why don't you just go fast??? Don't try and analyze it, go fast and call it speedwork or fartlek!". DAMN IT if she isn't on target. Why am I so afraid of pushing it so much? My husband said it is a juggling game, especially in triathlon season. One is so afraid to put one of the disciplines on the back burner, because every little bit helps. My husband, Bob, has won ten out of the last ten triathlons he has competed in (division). He is good on the swim (sometimes first, mostly second), admirable on the bike (50/50), but always smokes the run. He advised me not to negate my running, since it is my strength for now. I have to work on the bike and swim. The swim I can hold my own. The bike? I think I could do well if I could get over the fear of being in close-knit packs of cyclists. My visual disability is a big part of this fear. In a spin class I kick some ass, but on my spanking brand new Specialized...I am a big wuss.
Mother's Day and I find myself being so grateful for the love of my sweet husband, my awesome kids and my dearest friends. One of these friends doing a custom paint job/mural in Marc and Shelby's room. Sunrise, sunset is the theme. With a sun rising, the moon, and owl sleepily in a tree against the nighttime sky...I can't wait for it to be done. They are the last of the brood, and I love that their room can look like a fairy tale. My husband apologizes for the the lack of things he could gift to me on Sunday, and I just look at him in admiration and thank my stars for him. He is my hero, my greatest admiration. Words can't express how he saved me in so many ways. He is a big reason why I am the mom that I am. My family is my gift. I am amazed every day how much I look forward to watching my kids grow. Secretely, I am looking forward to a life with just me and Bob. Please don't wake me up yet.